THE CURSE OF LWR-19

Triple Threat Live 7" Nightmares

The Attack of Clown Vomit Record Pressing

Posted about 1 year ago

Okay…so the first release from Livewire’s Back From the Dead era has proven to be nothing short of possessed. To protect the innocent, I am not going to name the pressing plant I decided to work with, for now let’s just call them Clown Vomit Record Pressing—I will not be working with Clown Vomit Record Pressing ever again. Right out the gates, when I got my first round of tests back, I noticed two things that made me sad: 1. The tests were big-holes. I had asked for small holes. No big deal, they can do big hole tests and press small hole records. 2. The B-Side matrix was missing. Again, shitty, but not the end of the world.

I put a call in to Clown V’s and an extremely hoarse, smoke-addled (female?) voice informed me that they make “no gay-run-tees” about matrix engraving. In short, they refused to fix it. The woman later told me they would prefer to press big holes, given the tests were big holes. In a moment of Plan 9 sentimentality, I agreed to move forward with the big holes.

Two long weeks went by and I got my first round of 200 vinyls. Thinking I would be saving time and a little loot, I had sent label artwork out to Clown Vomit’s along with the master CD. I even made the artwork incredibly simple and set it up flawlessly for the big hole 7” template. Since I had never worked with them, I figured I better allow for some imperfection. Well, I got it. Not only were the labels incredibly poorly printed, they had some how managed to screw up the world’s most simple order. Silver labels, black ink. I was now the proud owner of 200 black label, silver ink big-hole fuck ups. And…. the art somehow was sitting on the labels terribly and way to close to the hole. Total manure. Rejected.

Another, this time even more frustrated call to CVRP, and they agree to redo the job as long as I send back the shitty records and had them redo the labels. This time they’ll get it right, they promise. Two more weeks went by and squish. Another box of diarrhea. This time, somehow they have done the impossible. The print job has now become worse and they printed big hole labels, slapped them on top of small hole silver labels, and given me the whole sewage sandwich on small hole records. I coughed up a chunk of lunch and considered finding a new hobby.

A third call now has me very politely explaining that this insanity is over and I am printing my labels somewhere else. They refuse to refund the entire project but agree to a third try at the vinyls with my professionally printed labels. Knowing the label printing place I was headed to was reliable, I redesigned the labels for small holes, added some color and got a real fucking print job done. I still await the final pieces and I really hope those clowns don’t mess ‘em up.

COLLECTOR’S NOTE: There are 8 Tests, 10 Black Labels, 10 Silver Labels. The rest were destroyed. —xxx